https://dads.hellobee.com/ Hellobee Dads en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 19:42:54 +0000 https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-237 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 21:19:28 +0000 Raindrop 237@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>so I just noticed the tab for Dads. Not a dad here but I started reading and this thread is so interesting!</p> <p>At our house we split the work out kind of interstingly. DH handles the interactions tough stuff, like waking up for feedings, putting DS to bed, waking up in the morning to feed and change DS and driving and picking DS from daycare.</p> <p>I do the logistics - I pack daiper bags, I am in charge of what to feed DS, I buy/pick out DS's clothes, I buy all the things he needs diapers/food/cold meds, I wash the clothes and I chart everything.</p> <p>These were sort of roles we fell into, it wasn't really discusses. A lot of people tease us that we are in the opposite roles and a lot of other women have commented how lucky I am to have someone get up in the middle of the night for me.</p> <p>I'm sure I'm lucky but I feel like this is what we were meant to do. Also I need sleep and I am a heavier sleeper than DH which is why he wakes up for feedings.</p> <p>It seems like every family is different, and you have to just do what works out for you and your family. Good luck!</p> <p>Also this was a very interesting topic - I learned about the gatekeeper role and the option of having one parent in charge of one kid. </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-daddy-guilt#post-231 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 17:03:13 +0000 miketravelparty 231@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>DW takes great care of our LO and works hard to make me get enough sleep to function during the day. I do feel guilty when I wake and here LO crying and DW working late in the night to comfort. I do my best to get up and spend time with the both of them because I know it's a very hard thing to do, things like help changing the diaper or getting DW a glass of water or a burp cloth. </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/new-ideas-for-dadson-time#post-230 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 17:00:13 +0000 miketravelparty 230@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>I only do this when I'm alone with my LO. I put on the songs that I like to sing and act all goofy and dance with him. I used to feel so stupid with manipulating my voice to sound like Elmo and do crazy dances but it really makes it worth while when you see him laugh and giggle. </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-your-kids-weigh-and-do-you-carry-them#post-229 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 16:57:24 +0000 miketravelparty 229@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>I carry LO everywhere. He isn't a fan of the ergo-baby carrier so you have to hold him all the time. Looking forward to when LO wants to do things on their own </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/what-fatherson-or-fatherdaughter-moments-are-you-looking-forward-to#post-228 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 16:54:55 +0000 miketravelparty 228@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>I travel for work and would love to show him the places I go to. I know when he gets older he will want to do it more with friends and people of his age but I more want to instill in him the huge variety of beautiful places that we all have the ability to go see, meet different cultures and see really awesome once in a lifetime things. </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/what-fatherson-or-fatherdaughter-moments-are-you-looking-forward-to#post-227 Mon, 04 Mar 2013 14:38:43 +0000 winniebee 227@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband is definitely looking forward to taking our son fishing! </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/new-ideas-for-dadson-time#post-226 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 23:08:33 +0000 apis 226@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@lisa1783: Thanks, sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I wasn't sure that the Dads' area was used much, so I cross-posted onto the main boards.</p> <p>I agree about the bundling/unbundling. Even if I'm just popping downstairs and out to get a cup of coffee, everything seems to take 5x as long! </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/new-ideas-for-dadson-time#post-225 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 17:04:49 +0000 lisa1783 225@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH likes to listen to music with my LO together so he'll turn on Spotify and he'll sing to him and/or dance with him. They also take walks together if the weather is nice just to get some fresh air. Just the act of bundling/unbundling him takes up about 30 minutes. :) </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-your-kids-weigh-and-do-you-carry-them#post-224 Sun, 17 Feb 2013 17:33:01 +0000 JMohror 224@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is six months and weighs about 12.5lbs, just a tiny thing so carrying her isn't a big deal ... which is what happens everywhere, lol. </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/what-fatherson-or-fatherdaughter-moments-are-you-looking-forward-to#post-223 Thu, 14 Feb 2013 21:34:33 +0000 apis 223@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs-polish: My wife has a set routine of activities on Saturday mornings that end up with me getting about four to five hours of alone time with my four-month-old son, and I think it's the best part of my week. </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/what-fatherson-or-fatherdaughter-moments-are-you-looking-forward-to#post-222 Thu, 14 Feb 2013 02:43:41 +0000 Mrs. Polish 222@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>Everything. Never had a father around, so I'm excited to share any time I have with my son. Everything from conditioning the dogs, to grilling, to hunting/shooting, to just ''male bonding'' together. I already told my wife I want time for just me and my son to spend time together, alone, every day.</p> <p>EDIT: Dunno if I have a sign on name here, but I know my wife's so I'll just use that. </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/new-ideas-for-dadson-time#post-221 Sat, 02 Feb 2013 20:38:36 +0000 apis 221@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a 3.5 month old son and on Saturdays, my wife is out of the house for about 4-5 hours in the morning/early afternoon.</p> <p>While I'm fine with keeping to his eating and napping schedule, I'm trying to think of more creative things that he and I can do together other than reading him the same baby books, doing tummy time, or propping him up on my lap to watch the soccer!</p> <p>What other solo dad/son activities have you found useful and enjoyable for babies this age? </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-daddy-guilt#post-220 Tue, 18 Dec 2012 12:42:51 +0000 fatkid 220@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't know the notion or a term existed such as "daddy guilt". So not at all, but the work guilt totally resonates. Pre-child, I always secretly resented my coworkers who were new fathers as they "coasted" a few months after their baby arrived. But ironically I'm in that position where I'm still in a zombie state and at a fraction of prior productivity levels. </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-219 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 22:34:18 +0000 Mr. Jacks 219@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that all dads should try and stay home with the little ones for a time. 90% of the time when we go out it is me getting the diaper bag ready for the days excursions, and Mrs. Jacks is asking me where everything is in the bag! </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-217 Sat, 10 Nov 2012 10:05:49 +0000 doodlepoodle 217@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I agree. Thanks for your "daddy" insight! I lose patience with DH because he doesn't wash the bottles right away before going to play video games, or he doesn't know how to pack the diaper bag for an all day excursion. He knows I'll do it if he doesn't though, so I need to learn to let go of one thing at a time so he can take responsibility. </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-216 Tue, 16 Oct 2012 21:00:14 +0000 pastemoo 216@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: The part where I am a control freak but hey if I learned this since LO was born.... I should give DH a learning curve on his own, too! I'm no expert!<br /> Plus he has always been better at learning by experience so I had to step away and let him.</p> <p>We have a really great relationship though, so I know we get along better than a lot of newborns' parents do. And even still it helped! </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-215 Mon, 15 Oct 2012 18:45:15 +0000 mrbee 215@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@pastemoo: Which part spoke to you? Curious! </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-214 Mon, 15 Oct 2012 16:46:36 +0000 pastemoo 214@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I just want to say thank you for posting this. I think my life and my husband's life got a little bit easier after I read this because I have been able to let go a little more after reading this. </p> <p>(I know this is the dad's board, but this is a big deal one that meant a lot to me and I have been thinking about it for weeks.) </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-feel-like-they-should-always-be-pushing-the-stroller#post-209 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 18:48:50 +0000 Mr. Jacks 209@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>I give up the stroller at any chance I can! When we are out on walks together, I usually have jack jack on me in the ergo and I also walk the pooch... But before, when I was working from home still, it was jack jack on me, Little Jacks in the stroller and the pooch on the leash... being in charge of 3 other "people" on a walk is tough, especially when one is attached to you. </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-feel-like-they-should-always-be-pushing-the-stroller#post-204 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 09:00:52 +0000 MrOceanis 204@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>I usually try to push the stroller. Like most of you it's not all the time but I would say most of the time I push it. </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-203 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 06:45:14 +0000 Rosie Girl 203@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I understand! And thank you for sharing that. I learned something new today ;) </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-202 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 06:37:19 +0000 mrbee 202@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rosie Girl: That dynamic isn't just learned from parents though... sometimes men will retreat into certain activities where they feel safe.</p> <p>Not saying that's the dynamic in your home though! I have no idea... just sharing one possible dynamic that comes up sometimes. </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-201 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 06:30:18 +0000 Rosie Girl 201@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: No, I wouldn't say anything if the diaper fell off. Or if I did it would be along the lines of "how in the world can she wiggle out of a diaper so fast?!" therefore putting it on her Houdini skills rather than his inability to do it right. </p> <p>And you are right. One little comment can make a huge impact. I will try to make sure to praise more then not. </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-200 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 06:27:25 +0000 Rosie Girl 200@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Very true on being clean! I think he is more along the lines of traditional roles though. I cook, clean, do bills, and he mows, works on the cars, etc. </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-199 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 06:25:57 +0000 mrbee 199@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rosie Girl: Yah skill differences can be intimidating. I think a lot of moms can underestimate the cutting effect of just a single piece of feedback.</p> <p>If the diaper falls off after 10 minutes, do you say something? </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-198 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 06:23:45 +0000 Rosie Girl 198@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Hahaha! Yeah, when it comes to killing the kids, 2 eyes are probably better than 1 :)</p> <p>I try to give DH lots of praise. I think you are very right that it will help. I know he does great with the kids because they are both still breathing when I get home in the morn. I think he is maybe intimidated by me? I can change a diaper faster then him.... things like that. I also think maybe he doesn't want the responsibility put on him if the diaper falls off after 10 minutes. </p> <p>I think I will try to have him take over a ritual. That is a really good idea to help build his confidence in being a dad. I know he can do it :) </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-197 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 06:21:16 +0000 mrbee 197@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rosie Girl: Regarding being clean or not, I believe that cleanliness is a subjective thing. What one person believes is clean enough may be completely unacceptable to the other person.</p> <p>That doesn't mean the second person is right though? If I was living with Monk (the OCD detective from TV), it would be hard for me to live up to his standard of cleaning. That doesn't mean that I'm wrong; it just means that if he's going to be happy with the house cleanliness, he's either going to have to do it himself or we'll have to hire a cleaning professional. </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-196 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 06:17:45 +0000 mrbee 196@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rosie Girl: I also ask Bee things to check things that might kill the kids... I just figure, two eyes are better than one.</p> <p>One thing that might help is to give a lot of positive feedback to your DH:<br /> <a href="http://www.hellobee.com/2012/04/30/on-men-and-praise/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/2012/04/30/on-men-and-praise/</a></p> <p>Maybe also have your DH take over one ritual at a time, so he can develop confidence in a particular thing? Bath time and or bed time can be a good one to start with...<br /> <a href="http://www.hellobee.com/2011/12/27/three-ways-to-counter-a-toddlers-mommy-preference/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/2011/12/27/three-ways-to-counter-a-toddlers-mommy-preference/</a> </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-195 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 06:17:04 +0000 Rosie Girl 195@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I find this kind of interesting too:</p> <p>A Gatekeeper parent exhibits themselves under the following categories:<br /> ...<br /> Does all the organizing, delegating, planning, and scheduling in the home<br /> ...</p> <p>Maybe we naturally fall into these rolls because of the way we were raised. As a child, my mom was the one who "took care of the home" I guess you could say, even though she worked. DH is not organized, therefore I do the bills. He also isn't very clean, so I clean ;) I do more of the inside stuff, and him the outside. But that is what we have seen our parents do. So I could see us fall into that kind of relationship of me being the gatekeeper. </p> <p>Does that make sense? (tonight is one of my nightshifts, and I get off in 2 hrs, so I am kind of loopy!) </p> https://dads.hellobee.com/topic/are-kids-the-moms-responsibility#post-194 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 06:11:41 +0000 Rosie Girl 194@https://dads.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I could see how that would happen. And in the past, DH has made comments about me criticizing his parenting. I now try to make a mental note not too :) I think the real reason behind it is that he is nervous. This is his first time with an infant (DS was 1 when we started dating). He will put DD in the carseat, then have me buckle her in "because he isn't good at it". I tell him he does it fine, but he insists I do it. I think he is nervous of messing up and then having to take the responsibility/blame. </p> <p>Were you nervous with Charlie when he was an infant? Did you trust Mrs Bee more than yourself? Is that a guy thing?! </p>